It is time. The years are passing and things do change.
We chronicled Gilad’s journey through illness using the caringbridge website*, starting in 2007 when he was diagnosed with a life-threatening, ugly cancer that was often painful, annoying, and exhausting for Gilad, and emotionally draining and heartbreaking for us, until the end of his life almost exactly three and a half years later. But once Gilad passed away in 2010, the need to update and share with others significantly diminished.
Whether we want to recognize or acknowledge it, Gilad is really gone. Our grief is no longer raw in nature, but are threads and shards woven into our daily life. This is our new baseline, our new reality. We are approaching the 3-year mark this August 2013 ; that will be over 1000 days that have passed since any of us has seen or touched him, more than 25,000 hours since Gilad breathed air on this earth. It seems to be time to make a change.
So I am transitioning from our caringbridge site to a new blog in honor and in memory of our dear, sweet Gilad Hillel ben Eliyahu Mordechai and Bracha Mirel, also known as Giladi, Gil, the G-man, G, rock star. Whatever name we used, he was beloved to all of us.
Entitled “Still Hearing His Music” we hope to convey Gilad’s character on these pages and suggest – and hope – that our connection with him has survived. Some believe there is a solid, impermeable wall between this world and the next, while others imagine there to be a diaphanous curtain through which love can flow and unspoken words can pass from one heart to the next. We long for any connection in the absence of the relationship we once had, and I admit that I still speak to Gilad often. He may not answer me, but I can feel him rolling his eyes or patting me on the shoulder. I still hear his voice, feel his presence, remember his gestures and see his smile, and I hope you do, too.
In the face of the void left by Gilad’s remarkable and charming presence, we have this blog, where we can share memories of Gilad and honor his life. No, it’s not nearly enough, but our hope is that the blog can bring us comfort and also be a common ground where we can share information about memorial and fundraising events that honor our son’s memory.
*Caringbridge is amazing organization offering free websites to families dealing with crisis and illness, and if you would like to support their efforts, please click here – http://www.caringbridge.org/waystogive